Perfectly Imperfect ...

Recently I have been having thoughts that I am not successful. That I have not done a good job in carrying out God’s call for my life. That being helping others apply God’s wisdom to their daily lives. Seeing Godly change in them. You see, I have been talking to people about loving their enemies and treating others the way they want to be treated. That we are all humans. Real people and not a political party. But no one appears to have listened. At least from what I can see.

So, after being down and feeling sorry for myself for a while, I asked God for guidance and opened my Bible. The Book of Jeremiah was before me. I had heard of this prophet but have to admit I did not know much about him. God called him and he took the Word to the people but they did not want to listen. He faced persecution. Enemies of Jerusalem enslaved them for seventy years. Full of anger and doubt, Jeremiah wanted to give up due to lack of success. But he never did thankfully.

Instead God gave him reminders of his most important purpose. To be obedient to Him which is the ultimate success. God is not keeping count and blaming us when someone does not listen or change. This is wonderful to know and freeing. Now I can throw out that scorecard forever.

^{We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.}

I read a news story today that Los Angeles hospitals are so overwhelmed with COVID-19 patients that Los Angeles County Emergency Medical Services has issued a directive telling ambulance crews not to transport patients with little chance of survival to a hospital. Unlikely to survive means someone whose heart has stopped, isn’t breathing or shows no other movement after resuscitation attempts. They are also to limit the administration of oxygen unless the patient’s oxygen saturation levels are below ninety percent. This move is due to an extreme surge in COVID patients and hospitals being at capacity. (Here is the link- https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2021-01-04/los-angeles-hospitals-cannot-keep-up-covid-19-surge-illness).

This is scary to say the least and I pray for anyone who lives in that area. At this point, having a medical emergency could mean not receiving the care needed. I fear that this nightmare scenario will occur in other places around the country as COVID cases continue to explode. So please take every precaution you can to stop the spread. Wear a mask, wash your hands frequently and limit gatherings when at all possible. I know some object to mask wearing because they feel it is a violation of their rights. Well, it may or may not be but there are times in life when we need to think not of ourselves but others. Being inconvenienced now will go a long way in getting us back to normal. It also shows that we are following God’s directives to love and care about our neighbors.

1st Corinthians 10:23-24- “I have the right to do anything”, you say,-but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”-but not everything is constructive. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.

1st Peter 3:8- Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.

Anyone else out there believe that marriage was going to be like a Hallmark Movie ? After all, you met the perfect person and you were so in-tune to each other’s needs. Every second spent together was magical and you thought it would go on like this forever. Then the wedding happened and the honeymoon and you returned home and life was waiting. Overtime, what initially excited you about your spouse turned in to what you could not stand about them. You started wondering what happened to that considerate person who always called when they were going to be late or actually listened to how your day went. As time trudged on you felt like you had grown apart and perhaps the only things you had in common were the children or just trying to stay above water financially. Intimacy decreased and in some instances vanished. Feelings of hopelessness about your relationship and how you will get through it consume your thoughts. How can I live out the remainder of my life with this person and in this situation? It looks very dark but there is hope.

As I have grown in my walk with God, I have started turning to Him for guidance in my struggles. Even when I felt like this marriage was over and maybe divorce was the answer. This morning, I asked God to speak to me about what I should do. My marriage has lasted for over twenty-five years and I don’t want it to end. I sat down to meditate and listened to calming music. After a while, I heard God say that me and my husband should go to counseling. He also prompted me to write this blog to reach others in a similar situation. I still need to talk to my husband about the counseling. However, no matter his answer, I will obey and go. I don’t know what the answer may be for your marital troubles, but I know that God does. You just need to go to Him, ask and have an open heart and mind to accept the answer.

Many blessings to everyone as we begin a new year. I pray that God will continue to protect us and that we will turn toward Him for our hope, faith and strength.

2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here! “

This is a follow-up to my previous post titled Social Media Use By Christians-Does the End Justify the Means? This past weekend I watched a documentary-drama hybrid on Netflix entitled ‘The Social Dilemma’ which explores the dangers of social networking. What made it most interesting was that tech experts who actually contributed to the development of these various platforms express regret and raise the alarm about it’s impact on society. They inform on how big tech monitors and analyzes social media use to manipulate the way we behave, think and feel and is meant to be addictive in nature. One participant worried that the tool he helped to create could cause a civil war due to the polarization between people that’s been created under big tech’s watch. It’s no accident that more and more progressive views are constantly on the forefront. They know they can steer society’s thinking anyway they want through news stories, messaging, ads, ect.. So take a look at “The Social Dilemma’ if you can. It may not change your social media habits but at least you will have the facts.

There’s a famous quote by Albert Einstein that goes: “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.” Can anyone reading this relate? I am applying it to the professional aspect of my life. For the past twenty-seven years I have worked in the social work profession. Starting out in 1993, fresh out of graduate school, I was so bright-eyed and bushy tailed and convinced I could change the world of the needy and downtrodden with my new found knowledge. But guess what? It wasn’t that simple surprise surprise. Not only did the multitude and complexity of those peoples’ lives present a challenge but the “system” threw a wrench in my plans also. I didn’t know about the bevy of regulations, laws and guidelines that would limit and box in my ability to give what I thought the people I was helping needed.

Fast forward to the present and I am burned out and wondering how I am going to make it until I can retire in four years and three months. Most people would be happy to say they only have that much time until retirement and I am. But right now it seems like an eternity. So where does Einstein’s quote play into this?

It applies because over the course of over nearly twenty-years, I have started new job after new job hoping that I would finally find the one where everything would fall into place. I began in my current position three months ago and the same feelings that I experienced for the two years prior and, then four years prior to that and the seven years prior to this and the three years prior to that have all come back. Just four years before retirement I have come to the conclusion that it’s time for a change. I long to move on to others endeavors such as writing for my blog, taking yoga teacher training and traveling. I want to buy a little house near a lake to use as a retreat to get away from the hustle and bustle of large numbers of people and traffic. I want to be able to study the Bible, pray, meditate and journal at will. But I guess these will have to wait for now, although I can engage in these interests on a smaller scale. So, I will continue to work and do my very best to help those I serve.

I hope in saying all this that you won’t get caught in the same insanity I have. You see, deep down inside of me I knew I should go for another career twenty years ago. But I was afraid, felt that I would be giving up if I didn’t continue and talked myself out of it with many other excuses. But it is okay because I know the path ahead is bright and ripe with new opportunities and choices and there’s nothing insane about that. But most importantly, I feel the Lord’s hand guiding me toward this new life. I am not afraid.