“And They (Didn’t) Live Happily Ever After”

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Anyone else out there believe that marriage was going to be like a Hallmark Movie ? After all, you met the perfect person and you were so in-tune to each other’s needs. Every second spent together was magical and you thought it would go on like this forever. Then the wedding happened and the honeymoon and you returned home and life was waiting. Overtime, what initially excited you about your spouse turned in to what you could not stand about them. You started wondering what happened to that considerate person who always called when they were going to be late or actually listened to how your day went. As time trudged on you felt like you had grown apart and perhaps the only things you had in common were the children or just trying to stay above water financially. Intimacy decreased and in some instances vanished. Feelings of hopelessness about your relationship and how you will get through it consume your thoughts. How can I live out the remainder of my life with this person and in this situation? It looks very dark but there is hope.

As I have grown in my walk with God, I have started turning to Him for guidance in my struggles. Even when I felt like this marriage was over and maybe divorce was the answer. This morning, I asked God to speak to me about what I should do. My marriage has lasted for over twenty-five years and I don’t want it to end. I sat down to meditate and listened to calming music. After a while, I heard God say that me and my husband should go to counseling. He also prompted me to write this blog to reach others in a similar situation. I still need to talk to my husband about the counseling. However, no matter his answer, I will obey and go. I don’t know what the answer may be for your marital troubles, but I know that God does. You just need to go to Him, ask and have an open heart and mind to accept the answer.

2 Comments

  1. Couples go into a marriage with other people’s expectations and not their own. They rush to do what is considered “normal” or “traditional” and don’t make the marriage their own. A year into the marriage people rush to have children, they drop friends, and they tend to drop their own activities they once enjoyed. I believe you need to take time in the beginning and spend time with your spouse and continue doing activities to keep life normal. Things get stagnant with just having the 9 to 5 to talk about or you have no friends to engage with sometimes.

    Everything requires a balance in life. People tend to get caught up in their own bubble until the relationship they were once high on becomes exhausted. However, I think everyone thinks the other person is sometime the problem. That person maybe feeling the same way too (trapped, bored). You have to start where you are now and go with the transitions where life takes you. Everyone has annoying habits, they can become forgetful or seem to lack empathy. I suppose its whether its intentional that matters versus, just like you may be; you’re exhausted from just the mundane things in life work, traffic, dealing with people outside the home. So, if that person wants to work on it and be apart of the next jump in your lives than go for it. Sometimes people are there for a season in our lives and we just need to let them go.

    We loose out on better things waiting for us when we continue to drive looking in the rear view mirror.. Best wishes for you and I pray it turns out for the best!!

    1. I think you make valid points but I feel as a Christian, I can’t just give up and leave. That’s why leaning on God and asking for guidance and support becomes even more important.

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