Have you ever had dreams, bad dreams, about things that have caused you great distress or even worse trauma? I’ve heard it said that dreams are the window to our soul. What we don’t understand or want to process during the waking hours manifest while we sleep. Every so often I dream about being in one or both of my childhood homes. These “visits” very rarely feel happy but rather frightful, chaotic, angry and lonely. A pretty good reflection of my life during that time. I always had to be on egg shells wondering when my father was going to explode. Would it be someone dropping a pan or the telephone ringing or simply asking him a question? What mistake would I make to be called names or made fun of? Or if it was my mother when would she give me the silent treatment for disobeying or tell me that no one would want to marry me because I was damaged goods? So much negativity which I absorbed like a sponge and has continued to impact my life up until a few days ago when I decided I’d had enough and didn’t want to be controlled by pass memories.
But what could I do to move forward? How or who could help me to not be afraid of being in those places that caused so much pain while growing up? I thought about God and then forgiveness. Forgiving can set us free from our pain. It won’t erase what happened but forgiveness will allow us to move away from it and start anew. Knowing that God forgives and he has forgiven me made this easier to do. None of us are perfect and we need to remember that when others hurt us. People who hurt, hurt others. Being a forgiving person can take away the power of the devil’s lies that tell us we are who or what people say we are instead of God says. Colossians 3:13 says “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”